Voting Question: Not sure how to handle this - is boyfriends mum going to be a potential problem?
Long Term Care - - Posted on August, 31 at 11:08 pm
Not sure how to handle this - is boyfriends mum going to be a potential problem?I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and it is becoming serious. I’m 36, he’s 38. I like & care about him alot and am looking for a long term serious relationship, I would like to settle and have children. I’m only really only just getting to know his family and last night we dropped into his parents to pick up my boyfriends dog that she had looked after for the afternoon. This is the thing, his mum seems as though she could maybe turn out to be a little overbearing?? - she controls his money, he is usually in debt to her as he borrrows from her for the nice things he cannot afford & she seems extremely happy to do this. She sorts some of his bills and has a key to his house to let herself in whenever. she has the passwords to all his online accounts including financial and he mentioned that she probably reads his email and internet communication. He seems very happy with all of this as it is less for him to do. He seems a little dependant on her.Well last night as we got into the car to go I got in the front and my BFs mum put the (male!) dog in the back. She waved, so I waved back and then she said to my boyfriend who was still outside “ha she thinks I’m waving at her!” and turned away to hide she was laughing. Then my BF laughed too before getting in the car. They didn’t think I could hear them inside the car.Later on I asked what she was joking about as I couldn’t hear and he said he couldn’t remember. I’m thinking should I just get out of this one?! Potential nightmare? I came out of long relationship a couple of years ago where his mother had a real problem with her son having a girlfriend - dejavu !!???What would you do?…..Additional DetailsI do like him alot - is it worth tackling this with him to see which way he would go?? How should I go about dealing with this if I do? I feel bad for him that he may end up alone because of his mum. I think she has him right where she wants him.We went to dinner at their house yesterday, I wondered how it would go - his mum talked about herself nearly the whole time, talked over me and said some terrible things about a recent bride we knew. She showed me loads of photos of when she was little and pretended to cry when my BF mentioned that she must be talking my ear off until she saw he was worried he had upset her, then she laughed. Later she gave him a big cuddle and said about him being her little boy (he had a big smile during this). He did try to stick up for me a few times and seemed a little concerned that I was getting too much of a grilling from her. Thing is I don’t think I would like to be around her much as she is very overpowering and I think she would be very upset if she wasn’t involved in our lives big time.Since then she has offered to buy me something, I think my BF must’ve given her my number as she phoned me to see if I wanted it, What a turnaround, have to say I’m getting a bit freaked out by her. All a bit full on? I know she is very desperate to have grandchildren…….(Sorry so long!)Additional DetailsI’m thinking about ending it, I still love him should I tell him that when I end it??This is so hard
More: continued here
Posted in Long Term Care |